I am on vacation in New York, visiting Risky Megan. This means I am away from my library of paper inspiration. I have the internet at my fingertips but all I can think about is the awesomeness that is the Pop Tart Store. Genius. Sheer genius.

Now I’m wondering what life in the Regency would have been like if someone had invented Pop Tarts 200 years ago.

Mrs. Porter-Evans: Archibald, dear, Cook has made the most delicious biscuit for the little darlings!

Archibald: What’s that dear? Frederick? Frederick! Stop running around like that Freddie!

Mrs. PE: Biscuit, dear. DUCK!!! It’s jam between slices of puff pastry and covered in frosting! You toast it.

Blam. A rasher of bacon slides across the floor and hits the footman’s boots.

Mrs. PE: Freddie, dear, do stop and Darling Susan, poppet, if you keep spinning you’re going to be— Johnson!

Johnson: On it, Ma’am.

Mrs. PE: Do change your boots, Johnson

Freddie: May I have another?

Susan: Mama, he’s already had three and I’ve only had two.

Archibald: No more of those infernal things. And please dismiss the cook.

I don’t think the Regency was ready for Pop Tarts. Agree or disagree