Austen Trek II: the Wrath of McCoy

If Jane Austen wrote Star Trek, Part II:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a Vulcan in possession of green blood must be in want of a medical check-up.

“My dear Mr. Spock,” said Leonard “Bones” McCoy one day, “didn’t you hear me tell you a hundred times that you are overdue for your physical?”

Mr. Spock replied that he had not — that the doctor had merely told him 27.3 times.

“Mr. Spock, how can take my words so literally? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.”

“You mistake me, Doctor McCoy. I have all the compassion your nerves merit. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration throughout our five-year mission.”

“Oh! You have no idea how you drive me crazy.”

“But I hope you will get over it, and continue to administer your folk-wisdom to the flawed humans on this ship who, for some unaccountable reason, actually seem to enjoy it.”

“Come, Spock,” said McCoy, “I must have your physical. I hate to see you standing about on the bridge when you’re off-duty in this stupid manner. You had much better come to sick bay.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my nurse. On such a starship as this, it would be insupportable. Nurse Chapel is engaged, and there is not another nurse on the ship, whom it would not be a punishment to me to give blood to.”

“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried McCoy, “for all the gold-pressed latinum in the universe! Upon my honour, I never saw so many competent nurses in all my life, as I have in sick-bay; and there are several of them who are uncommonly capable.”

“Nurse Chapel is the only passable nurse on the ship,” said Mr. Spock.

“Oh! she is the most brilliant nurse I ever beheld! But I have another nurse sitting down in sick bay right now, doing nothing, who is very well-educated, and I dare say, very discreet. Do let me have her draw your blood.”

“Which do you mean?” and, arriving at sick bay, he looked for a moment at the nurse McCoy indicated, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, “She may be tolerable, but not experienced enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to nurses who are slighted by other patients. You had better let me return to the bridge, where I will enjoy staring into my viewfinder, for you are wasting your time with me.”

Cara
Cara King — award-winning author of
My Lady Gamester — these are the voyages of the card-player Atalanta

About Elena Greene

Elena Greene grew up reading anything she could lay her hands on, including her mother's Georgette Heyer novels. She also enjoyed writing but decided to pursue a more practical career in software engineering. Fate intervened when she was sent on a three year international assignment to England, where she was inspired to start writing romances set in the Regency. Her books have won the National Readers' Choice Award, the Desert Rose Golden Quill and the Colorado Romance Writers' Award of Excellence. Her Super Regency, LADY DEARING'S MASQUERADE, won RT Book Club's award for Best Regency Romance of 2005 and made the Kindle Top 100 list in 2011. When not writing, Elena enjoys swimming, cooking, meditation, playing the piano, volunteer work and craft projects. She lives in upstate New York with her two daughters and more yarn, wire and beads than she would like to admit.
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17 Responses to Austen Trek II: the Wrath of McCoy

  1. Cara, now I’m very curious what your next book is going to be. Time Travel forward from the Regency era to the Star Trek era?

    BTW, very good adaptation of Austen!

  2. Judy T says:

    LOL! Should I be frightened that I could hear their voices and see their expressions so clearly? That was fun!

    And I truly enjoyed MY LADY GAMESTER! Not to mention I am top over tail in love with Richard. I must admit I had some doubts along the way, but by the end it was very satisfying indeed. I’m looking forward to your next venture.

  3. Anonymous says:

    LOL! Passing it on.

  4. Cara King says:

    Keira — actually, Todd has been urging me to write a Regency science fiction novel…though without any Star Trek characters, of course! πŸ™‚

    At the moment, I’m actually working on teen novels, one of them with a slightly paranormal plot…

    I’m also still trying to sell a few science fiction stories, and I have some children’s fantasy novels that threaten to beat me about the head if I don’t write them….

    Oh, and I did have an idea for a science fiction chick lit novel… Which I may turn into a SF YA novel.

    Hmm? Did someone say I write in too many genres??? That’s what I thought too, at one time, so I decided to focus — on Regencies. It worked, as far as getting me published — but now the genre isn’t quite what it once was…

    Okay, far more than you were actually asking, Keira! Guess it’s my day to ramble…

    Cara

  5. Cara King says:

    Thanks so much, Judy!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed the book!!!!

    And yes, I love my Richard too. He’s so kind…and so manly…and so honorable…and so rich… πŸ™‚

    Cara

  6. Lois says:

    Two thumbs way, way, way up!!! That was great!! So very cool!!! πŸ™‚

    Lois, who hopes they’ll be a next part sometime in the future. . . πŸ™‚

  7. Cara King says:

    Lois’s request is my command! Stay tuned for Star Trek III: the Search for ??? sometime in the future…

    Or perhaps a Next Generation, DS9 or Enterprise version! πŸ™‚

    Cara

  8. A Regency Sci-Fi β€” Todd’s a genius, and Cara, you’re going to create a new market.

    Let me see now. That’s 1…2…3…4(!!) projects-in-progress. WOW! Just, WOW!

    So, it looks like, readers will have to wait, oh, a mere nine months for the Reg SF to be published? πŸ™‚

    Seriously though, how do you keep all the different storylines and characters straight in your head?

  9. Lois McMaster Bujold wrote a science fiction “Regency” and dedicated it to Austen, Heyer, and the Brontes (I think)— A Civil Campaign. One of her wonderful Vorkosigan books.

  10. Cara King says:

    Oh yes, Diane, I adore A CIVIL CAMPAIGN, and all the other Vorkosigan books! And all Bujold’s other books too, while we’re on the subject! (I haven’t yet read her new book, but I’m sure I’ll love that too…)

    Seriously though, how do you keep all the different storylines and characters straight in your head?

    Well, Keira, first, I write down all my ideas and notes. What I decide can still change, but I write it down anyway — and if it does change, my notes sort of chart my thought processes…

    My notes on GAMESTER, for example, say things like:

    Does she have to find the third guy, Lord Geoffrey Yarrow? Maybe he doesn’t socialize much. Maybe he’s guilt-ridden, or something. Ill? Paranoid?

    That helps me keep things straight.

    Plus, I don’t actually work on a whole bunch of different things at once — it just sounds like I do. πŸ™‚ I usually work on only one thing at once.

    And if I have an idea that starts nagging at me when I mean to be working on something else, I try to just write down everything about it in as much detail as possible, and then put it out of my head…

    Cara

  11. Jane George says:

    A sci-fi Regency? Should be popular. “Firefly” went over well with it’s combo.

    Liz Maverick had debauched Georgian-era types in her futuristic tale, The Shadow Runners. I thought it worked.

    There’s no reason you couldn’t add a Regency flavor to your SF YA.
    Have fun!
    Jane

  12. Speaking of–well not scifi– but paranormal Regency, just wait until Colleen Gleasons The Rest Falls Away comes out in January.

    It is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Pride & Prejudice. What a great premise.

    Colleen will join us for an interview in January, but get more information here
    http://colleengleason.com/
    and be sure to look at her video!

  13. Todd says:

    Cara, at first I merely thought that you had fine eyes; but that was only when I first met you, for it is many years since I have considered you as one of the weirdest women of my acquaintance. πŸ™‚

    Your post brings back memories of many of the finest works of English literature; such as:

    Moonsfield Park, in which timid Fanny Price is sent off to live with her wealthy Lunarian relatives;

    Wuthering Orbits, in which Heathcliff wanders the lonely reaches of the asteroid belt;

    Coercion, in which Anne Elliot falls for a dashing starship captain, only to have her memory of him erased by her disapproving relatives; and my personal favorite,

    Our Mutual Clone, about the struggle for inheritance of a galactic recycling business among genetically identical heirs.

    Todd-who-always-prefers-the-classics

  14. Cara, at first I merely thought that you had fine eyes; but that was only when I first met you, for it is many years since I have considered you as one of the weirdest women of my acquaintance. πŸ™‚

    Cara, such endearments! You must just swoon over them…..

  15. Cara, thanks much for the insight into your working style, and thanks also for the tip. Tracking notes and questions as they occur is a great way to not have to worry about remembering them.

    Diane, I loved Colleen Gleason’s book video as well as her Website. Very classy. And with a premise like that, I’m sure the book sold on that one statement itself.

  16. Elizabeth says:

    ROFL Cara! Thank you for taking me boldly where no Regency has gone before.

    Elizabeth Rolls

  17. Cara King says:

    Delighted I could oblige, Elizabeth! πŸ™‚

    Cara

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