It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a Vulcan in possession of green blood must be in want of a medical check-up.
“My dear Mr. Spock,” said Leonard “Bones” McCoy one day, “didn’t you hear me tell you a hundred times that you are overdue for your physical?”
Mr. Spock replied that he had not — that the doctor had merely told him 27.3 times.
“You mistake me, Doctor McCoy. I have all the compassion your nerves merit. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration throughout our five-year mission.”
“Oh! You have no idea how you drive me crazy.”
“But I hope you will get over it, and continue to administer your folk-wisdom to the flawed humans on this ship who, for some unaccountable reason, actually seem to enjoy it.”
“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my nurse. On such a starship as this, it would be insupportable. Nurse Chapel is engaged, and there is not another nurse on the ship, whom it would not be a punishment to me to give blood to.”
“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried McCoy, “for all the gold-pressed latinum in the universe! Upon my honour, I never saw so many competent nurses in all my life, as I have in sick-bay; and there are several of them who are uncommonly capable.”
“Oh! she is the most brilliant nurse I ever beheld! But I have another nurse sitting down in sick bay right now, doing nothing, who is very well-educated, and I dare say, very discreet. Do let me have her draw your blood.”
“Which do you mean?” and, arriving at sick bay, he looked for a moment at the nurse McCoy indicated, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, “She may be tolerable, but not experienced enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to nurses who are slighted by other patients. You had better let me return to the bridge, where I will enjoy staring into my viewfinder, for you are wasting your time with me.”
Cara King — award-winning author of
My Lady Gamester — these are the voyages of the card-player Atalanta